Owen Sound

We've been here in Grey Bruce County for a few days now. Driving up from Orangeville on Highway 10 we hit a snowstorm and I couldn't see 3 feet in front of the car. I had an anxiety attack, okay really maybe 2 or 3, and had to pull over to the side of the road until a car passed by at 20 km/h that I could follow by their lights. I'm not a very confident nighttime driver to begin with, especially since I had laser eye surgery. Which improved my vision, but also changed the way I focus in the dark and on artificial light. In the end we showed up fine, 3 hours for a 1 hour drive, but I was sure we get stuck in a ditch the whole way here.
Olives been shy, and whiny. Travelling is hard on kids. She's tired, and I'm sure she'd say "home" if she could. So would I. I feel like I haven't had my home for 2 or 3 weeks instead of 8 days, what with the bed bugs, and I am a creature of habit, struck with insomnia, pacing, and perpetual sighing, unable to perform my daily rituals. Although, both Olive and I, are warming up to the place.
We had 2nd Christmas the night we came in. True to form Olive played in the boxes and paper rather than with her toys. I have pictures but no connection from my camera to the computer. So it will have to wait.

oh also, Greg and I brought our bikes. We've been riding around winterly. Definitely the only ones. Lots. of. fun.

Winter 21st

Solstice Pizza:

Hope you had a good one.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

::Mummy::

::Daddy::

::Baby::

::Leaves::

Our Hallowe'en

We had sooooo many people in our house yesterday, just to celebrate. I don't know what's come over me in the past years, I didn't used to really like Hallowe'en, but now I LOVE it. I realised its because Hallowe'en is a holiday where there is no pressure to be with your family, to observe the same traditions, there is no pressure to be miserable. There's no pressure at all. You can, if you like, shut the porch lights and pretend its not there. You can do whatever you like. You can sew your costume 3 weeks prior and eagerly wait for the day. Make-up on before breakfast.

We had 9 carved pumpkins. 12 people. Gave out treats, ate a very autumn supper together. Brought Olive and Sebastian around the block for their first trick or treats with Jake and Nathan. When everyone left and Olive went to sleep, Greg and I took advantage of having Pamela as a guest and went out to a potluck where we missed the food but were just in time for the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. So much fun, just the way a holiday should be.

'food'

Last night Greg and I went off to a party (? sort of), babe in bed, Nana standing by. My road bike has a bent rim from a ridiculously high curb jump, so Greg gave my fixed all the little harmonizing it needed; air in the tires, dust off the seat, straps on the pedals. Again, I had fun, got to feel the goofy side of me, which doesn't come out properly in social situation with the babe present. I acknowledge that when I am in mommy-mode I am pretty poor with all forms of socializing. I seem to have this blockage between my hearing and speaking, and any part of my brain that does the understanding. I thought it may just be permanent mommy-brain, but actually I think its just that with Olive she is always at the forefront. Its nice to have a couple nights a month to remind me that that part of me is still there, and for the rest of the time, I have my mum-friends who understand and appreciate my out-to-lunch qualities as there own.


Now, Olive most definitely signed to us yesterday. We were very busy in the afternoon. At the Death Church getting tattooed by Matt, Olive and I went to the library, then back to the Church for a BBQ they were having. She did not get any proper naps, and so she also didn't getting any quality breastfeeding time. And I was little worried she was hungry, but I gave her snacks along the way, and little booby sips here and there. Well later on in the day, she was getting pretty fussy, so I put her in the carrier and hoped maybe she'd take a little nap to tide her over til bedtime. We're all standing around eating veggie burgers and dogs, sipping on our juices, and she looks at me and Greg and signs 'Eat'. We were just like "Oh my god!" and then scrambled around to get her food. It was amazing. She had some burger and was a happy camper.
Its funny because I was just reaching a point, with no feedback from her, that I wasn't signing with her as much anymore, but now I am fully back on the boat. So exciting. I guess that's her first word right? 'Food', very fitting for our family. 

Sunday Lunch

This week Greg helped out our friend Marissa a little in organizing a show for the Bicycle Film Festival and he did a little volunteering too so we could both go see one of the movies (with our non-money). So today we joined the rest of the volunteers for a little raw food lunch which was delicious.

It was in a wonderful loft space downtown by the mountain which had a really really incredible view. You could climb out the window onto the roof too.Olive ended the lunch by taking her afternoon nap on me as expected. She is getting very very heavy to carry for long trips now. I haven't fully figured out what I am going to do. It's effecting my back a little. We have an umbrella stroller, but I really just don't like pushing them around, I hate it even more than the back strain. I cannot wait until next summer when we can cruise around on my bike together... just have tough it out 'til then!

Skating

I do not know how to skateboard. That is, until yesterday! I'm about as good as Olive.

Pictures of me rulin' it.

 

And Olive rulin' it.

Greg is a really good teacher. In all things, not just skating. He is patient, and understands what other people don't understand, and explains it clearly, then he is patient again. He's has taught me to play drums as well. Which is another thing I thought I'd be retarded at for life.
Pamela is with us for the week because her lease was up yesterday, her new home will be in Toronto, and there are two more weeks of school. Oh yeah, and she's my bestie, right. That's her voice in the video.

Lessons in Sharing

Some pictures form our adventure-walk we had on Friday, with Morgan and her gang, down the canal and back.

Quite a task, but worth it. I think I took a looooong nap when we got home, but I cannot remember, possibly because I was sleeping. That's Jacob wearing Olive's, condom, I mean hat on his head. He's a weirdo. Olive and Nathan can both now crawl, and notice each other, and also steal key-sets from each other, and sunglasses, and toys, and... Lessons in sharing.

Thrift Part I: On Debt and Budget

I think I have written previous posts about Greg and I's go of living on a budget. I've never really been someone to keep good track of my money, mostly because I always had enough to get by and keep even. Obviously having a kid changes a lot, especially when it comes to money, but this began even before Olive was born. I wasn't working while I was pregnant and thats when I started depending mostly on Greg to get us by. Which I can say got really really messy. First off, it was a gradual thing; I came up with half our rent and paid my share of our bills for a long time. Second, we maintained our 'single-selves' lifestyle for a long long long time. Lastly, Greg and I just didn't talk about our money at all, not until we started yelling at each other about it. Like I said; messy messy messy.
I went into more and more debt to keep our lives the way they were. It was so overwhelming I could never sort it out. I didn't think it was possible for us to rely just on Greg's income so I never thought about it, I never did the math, and I just let the debt pile up, and the anxiety. I am very against credit and interest. Why would you spend money you don't have so you can pay more to break even, and have less. It doesn't make sense. So I also felt guilty. I felt like I was doing something I knew to be personally wrong; To borrow something you cannot give back. This added stress to me, and then in turn on our relationship. And the worst part is that it didn't have to be that way, at all. Finally, I faced up to the situation, had a couple sit-downs with friends who have experience budgeting, and with Greg, it become crystal that we already had enough money to get by, more than enough actually. We just had to rethink how we were using it.
Amy is the thriftiest person I know. She planned her wedding for under $5000, including the rings, and she's been budgeting her money since before moving out of her mum's. She's kind of no-nonsense like that. She shared with me her strategy for keeping track and saving money. Kind of lending me her system, which has since grown into its own form for me.
I also got help from Pamela, my best friend/polar opposite, accountant extraordinaire. Who calculated all the possible interest on my debts over different periods of time, the ideal vs. realistic duration it might take us to pay back said debt, and came up with a monthly goal I could set for myself to put aside for that. I had always been the kind of person who would pay back my debts in large sums, just to get it over with, and then not have enough for groceries, thus continuing the cycle. Now, I get why that doesn't work.
With Greg, we figured out how we could live on just his income. It was really a struggle at first, for both of us. Not the cutting back part, but changing our ways so we were actually conscious of our priorities, like rent, bills, and groceries, over internet and therapy, and those things over yoga and bike parts, and those over coffee, clothing and records. Honestly we used to just spend our money on whatever came to our head, thank god we're not drinkers. I couldn't even imagine being in debt over beer.
Now, with full disclosure, our BUDGET goes something like this:

First we have some basics, our income:
Greg makes about 650$ bi-weekly, plus 284$/month for the Canada Child Tax Benefit, and 100$ monthly for the Universal Child Care Benefit. That's 1684$/month. Sometimes there's more, income from sewing, GST checks, or extra from Greg, but I make our budget on money that I KNOW we will have. The rest is all for ice cream.

Expenses:
I put aside every month 900$ for rent, 160$ for our phones and Internet, 130$ for Hydro (regardless of how it varies), 120$ to pay my therapist, 30$ for Greg's jam space rent, and 40$ for a bus pass; comes to about 1380$, and leaves us about 300$/month for anything else.

The things that vary:
The tough part about making the budget every month is figuring out where the 300$ goes. There's obviously so many things you may want/need during the month, and this is where prioritizing comes in. Since we started this 3 months ago, we do not use my credit card at all, its actually there for the "justincase" situations, as opposed to pretending it is, and then running short on cash for groceries every week and swiping Mr.VISA instead. Basically I am saying you know you have to eat every day so that money should be there. So, I keep money aside like this: About 150$/month for groceries (although this varies greatly), and 50$/month for cat food and litter, the rest is divided more arbitrarily in envelopes for gas, bulk food, books/tapes/records, bike repairs, yoga, dates. I also might add an envelope when we are saving for something. Like Greg wants new earrings and I would like a decent yoga mat, so we each have an envelope for those things and extra money goes into them when we have it.

Debt:
All our debt is mine. I am lucky to have Greg, a true partner, who affirms that all my debt becomes ours. He is very helpful, he works for our entire lively-hood. And there's not really much room left for debt repayment, so I make it a goal of mine to make about 100$/month sewing (pennies really), and if we are lucky I will be debt free in 4 or 5 years. Although obviously many things could change in that time, so I HOPE much sooner than that.

Tracking:
This is an important part. We try our best to keep all our receipts in a tin, and a couple times a month I write them down, calculate, and then relay our spending to Greg. It's good to know, and is a reminder of those golden priorities.

I am beginning to realise how important it is for money to be out in the open. To be honest writing this post made me very squeamish. Money, in my head, for some reason is an off-limits subject. But my point here has been that allowing it to be unconscious and hush-hush is the problem. I also want to dispel the notion that having a family costs a lot of money, it can, but it doesn't have to. It's all about what you choose to make you happy. And so, that's how our family easily lives on less than 2000$ a month.

Snacks

Oh my I haven't added a thing here all week. I've honestly been drawing blanks on inspiration, although thinking back on the week a lot more has gone on than I previously posted. Greg worked from 10 30 am to 9 30 pm a couple days this week, which was so draining on all of us. The long hours for him, then the lack of any alone time for me, and dealing with tired and impatient parents for Olive. We've all been kind of cranky and avoidy. But it's through and looks like Greg has no shifts next week so the pendulum swings the other way and we'll have many lazy together moments this coming week.
  In Olive news: She has started to drag herself across the floor. Its not crawling, no, but its crazy close. She's pretty fast. I put her down, turn around, and when I look back BAM! she's under my sewing tables, chewing on some dust.

Goodbyes...

 Well the grandparents are back to Ontario tomorrow. Its a bit sad. We had planned to go to La Ronde today, but this heat wave inspires zero movement, especially outdoors so instead we spent today in the "underground shopping" (as Greg's mum calls it). I do not normally go shopping, ever. I used to, and I like it, but I strive to consume less, and change the shopping=happiness mind-set which has been nurtured into all of us, so normally these days I avoid shopping. But this was a nice treat. Air-conditioning, bright colours, people people people, the subway, a few purchases from Greg's mum; sunglasses, shorts, and some Olive dresses. All things I can say that we actually needed, which makes me glad. By the sound of me right now, you'd swear I never leave my house, I do, I go for walks around the block daily, :). Who needs to leave St-Henri anyway?
I thought I'd share a few more good ones from yesterday:

A Smiling Baby

We went to the beach today. Thank god, 43' heat wave. The water wasn't even cold, or warm, it was hot. That's never happened to me before, where I've gone to the beach and the water was HOT. All I can say is: naked baby day! Well, naked Olive + hat and fruit-net.
There was a little bit of a hassle driving out to Oka, and Olive cried a lot of the way. She absolutely hates being in the car. More so every time. Usually she just cries, and cries, and cries herself all worked up and then passes out. And its hard on me 'cause I know what would help: not being in the car. Its a guilty time, but sometimes just unavoidable. I have made sure to fill my bus pass every month these days, and now if I have to go out I try my best not to drive. I don't even like driving, at all. I very much cannot wait until Olive and I are cruising on my bike; when her head is helmet big enough. Oh how glorious that will be. The beach though, it was very wonderful. And Olive enjoyed the water. Learning to splash. It ended like so:

The 2nd best kind of baby; a sleeping baby.