I had trouble sleeping, more from anticipation than pain. And Greg and I got in a few little fights. Emotions were high! On Friday night at 11:45 the contractions had progressed to 3 minutes apart. I could not talk through them. I couldn't think! I would grab Greg's hands swinging down into a squat and bow my head 'til they passed. Or if he was sitting kneel, lock my hands behind his knees, and dig my face into his lap. We took a cab to the hospital.
They put my belly on a monitor and did a cervical check. My contractions were coming every 3 minutes but I was really having 1 strong upper belly contraction, and then about 4 or 5 lower belly ones. Although painful for me, the lower ones were not opening me up, and I was only 2 cm dilated. The solution? Go for a LONG walk!
We were sent to the deserted first floor hallway to pace. At every contraction I would stop to sway my hips moving the babies head down to apply pressure on my cervix, hopefully driving a positive feedback of hormones to increase the contractions. At first I could walk to one end and back in between contractions, then as the hour progressed I could not get halfway down one way. I would slow-dance with Greg. I started to feel like I was going to die with every contraction, and the hour would never be up!
When we got back up to the labour ward, and were admitted, I was checked again, and was now 6 cm. The baby was coming fast! The contractions every minute or so. I could not talk through them, or concentrate. I would nod yes to questions and immediately forget what they were about. Greg and my doula Molly helped by rubbing my back, holding my hands, and applying pressure to my hips. I had no epidural or pain-relief. Just my mommy toughness. I took a bath when it got really painful. I also found making a low guttural moan helped focus me during contractions. During my bath, one of my moans turned into a grunt, and Molly knew I was getting ready to push.
Pushing is an active sounding verb, but it just comes and there is not much choice. Denying the urge to push hurts just as much, and I knew I had to go with that, despite its intensity. I was brought back to my bed, and checked again. 9cm. during the next contraction I had to resist that urge, and the nurse would move the remainder of my cervix out of the way, and then the baby would come.
My doctor showed up just in time. At 5 am I was in between that rock and a hard place. I repeatedly whimpered "I cant do this!", but I was and half an hour later, 5 32 am out came my baby girl.
I was completely in shock. Endorphins running through my body, she was placed on my chest, and I just shook. I shook for almost 45 minutes afterward. During that time Greg and I were left alone. I breastfed her, and then Greg took off his shirt and held her skin to skin.
In my euphoric state I kept thinking of the song "Daniel" by Bats for Lashes. And I asked Greg to play that for us on his iPod. That's the first song she ever heard.
We had talked about the name Olive months before, but wanted to put naming her aside until we saw her face. Through the labour the name came back to me as a gut feeling, and I think Greg felt that too. And then in that room, with the music coming quietly out of Greg's headphones we knew to call her Olive Daniel Underwood.
Daniel from Bat for Lashes on Vimeo.
We were all brought to the post-natal ward together, and we stayed there for a day and a half. Olive was completely healthy and so was I.
In the past week she's gained about 35g a day. I can see her getting bigger. She opens her eyes and looks around for faces. Mostly Greg's. We've been learning to breastfeed together. I have to get her to open her tiny mouth up wide, and stop chewing on her fingers. She wiggles out of her clothes, diapers, and blankets, has a good control of her neck, and sometimes sleeps 4-5 hours at a time. But mostly during the day. (She is trying to kill me via sleep deprivation). Overall she is a pretty awesome baby. Too cute.
