Olive Lately, approaching 15 months

She's been walking, but not. 3 steps, then her legs go crumpling, 2 steps and her feet cross. Up and down, up and down, She can, but she can't. She's excited about it. We walk up and down the hall. To daddy and back, holding on to the smidgenest of my fingers just for safety. She stands on her own, hovering, staring, thinking very hard about taking.that.step.
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About a month ago Greg and I sat down and talked about Olive's sleeping habit. As we do often, as I am sure all parents, ever, have done often. Its probably one of the ways they grow and change the most, but you can't measure it with a stick, or send the clothes that dont fit off to the thrift. We HAD been doing the mommy nurses olive, then dad puts her to sleep, and that wasn't not working, but I wouldn't say that it was working either. I felt anxious a lot coming up to bedtime even though it wasn't my task, maybe guilty too, like I wasn't sharing something pivotal. Greg kept falling asleep with her, as anyone would do after 9 hours of biking, and he would sleep until 9 or 10, then feel messed up all night. The good part was that Olive was sleeping, and doing so without mum, which is a BIG big-girl step.

I'm uncomfortable putting labels on myself because I think often that leads to self-made pigeon-holing. People get stuck and suddenly see things in black and white. I think this is especially true with parenting. Especially true with terms like Attachment Parenting, Co-sleepers, Cry-It-Out, and No-Cry. I do agree with a lot AP principles, and that's the way I parent, because it feels right, but not because I am an attachment parent. Here's where I suddenly realised we had stuck ourselves. Stuck between the short bridge, a jump, from mothering to parenting. (not that those things are at all done exclusively).

Olive had become ready to take a bigger step towards falling asleep on her own. I didn't see it because I had told myself during this first year that I wouldn't leave her to cry herself to sleep. Something about sleep training infants and small babies really really really bothers me. Something about the term 'Sleep Training' REALLY bothers me. So I didn't want to go there. Infants should have their every cry and need attended to, and I think that simply because their needs are so simple. Feed me. Change me. Love me. Keep me warm. 

Olive isn't a little baby anymore. She's still little, and still a baby, but also a kid, and a toddler. She's grown.

So Greg and I talked, and then here's how it went. (possibly scarier for us parents suddenly abandoned from our role as 'NEEDED' than for Olive) We set up a routine: teeth brushing, potty sit, into pajamas, nursing, maybe some books, lights off. When lights go off I've generally tried to make it No More Booby Time, but that doesn't always workout. We decided to alternate nights. We sit there in the dark with her for a bit, watch her settle herself. Then get up slowly, and leave, most of the time with her still awake. 

I braced myself for a big hubbub, I thought there would be lots of crying, I thought I would fall to pieces. We planned to go in and re-settle her at five minute intervals. Boy how unnecessary. There have been nights where she cries for a while, and almost always we get a little 'Hey! Where you going?" cry, sometimes we have to go back in, but mostly not. She's just ready. Genuine champion sleeper. Sometimes we even hear her singing to herself. or babbling for a while, then it tapers off into silence, and dreaming. About this I am seriously SO PROUD of HER.

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She climbed up the jungle-gym at the park today, crawled across the platforms to the slide, turned around, put one foot over the edge, then the other, let her body slide until just her fingers held onto the top of the slide, and then let go, WITH A HUGE SMILE ON HER FACE. then repeated this 7 or 8 more times.

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Pottying has gone as usual. After naps, in the morning before bed, a couple of catches during the day. Sometimes she stays dry for really long periods of time. She'll climb up onto the potty herself, but only when its offered. She doesn't go there herself yet. I think we have a really good balance, and i am content until she takes the next step.

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Like I've said many times she is a talker. With her hands, and her words. Her thing right now is pointing at things and saying 'Deee!, deee!', she expects me to bring whatever it is she's pointing at to her then. Funny. Sometimes I do it automatically before realising I dont want her to have my phone!

We're doing lots of signs. many for eating and drinking, and lots of animals. I now try to pick up things during conversations with her that I think are key. I'll be saying "can I HAVE that" and then go look up the sign for GIVE or SHARE or HAVE. I'm putting it more naturally into the conversations and allowing her to pick up whatever she does. I try not to overwhelm her though, we dont really do consecutive signing yet. Except "KITTEN EATING". Because those are her favourite words, AND our cats happen to eat, and she enjoys feeding them.