Where My Head Is At

I'll have a couple of weeks where Olive is so independent. I think to myself "wow she is so grown, look at her playing, entertaining herself". I'll get so used to it. I can do so much, savour the day. Sit and read, and watch her. Laundry feels like no problem at all. Ditto the dishes. Then of course will come the weeks where I just can't get anything done.
When I have resigned myself to her needs, I can cope with letting all other things slide and focusing on Olive. This is what I want to do; revel in days of Olive. But its is hard for me to go back and forth. I search for some kind of constant normal flow to my days. When she exerts her independence and I am left to entertain myself with floor sweeping, I want to be dedicated to finishing the floor, but that's not always possible. And most definitely frustrating. I get comfortable in those weeks when I can be on top of everything, and in weeks like the last, where things lay stubbornly out of place, I.am.tired.
I think I just haven't learned the shuffle of parenting a toddler. If there is one. Truly playing with her, and giving her quality attention, while still getting all the things I want done. I've given up on writing 'to do' lists for the time being, which is silly, I love writing lists for myself, because they just go unchecked. I am confident that I will find my stride, and that these are just some of those weeks. Of course there will be others. Back and forth, back and forth; it seems to be the 'normal' I am looking for.