Squeeker

Yesterday we had to put our cat Squeeker down. I made an appointment to see a vet on Tuesday, because he had stopped eating, and hasn't been looking very well for over a month now. I meant to do it sooner, but gave myself excuses. The money really wasn't there for an unexpected visit. When he started drooling I knew I couldn't put it off anymore. He was looking bad.
What the vet said: He was showing signs of renal failure (the result of a kidney disease). The drooling, not eating, which was from ulcers down his throat, weight loss. He was in bad shape. To know for sure we would need blood tests. At a cost of 200$. He also had an unrelated heart murmur. She told us that even if the blood tests came back clear the medication for his heart would be at least 500$ a year, and we knew right there we just couldn't afford it. If we could have, he would still be dying, just slower. Ultimately it was Greg's decision. He was Greg's best friend. It was really sad. I wasn't prepared. I brought our cat there, and I thought I would be leaving with him. I really did.

The house is quieter. Our other kittens perch in the places he's left empty. They look unsure, meep for food. And I think "who will clean their coats?". He was a cat who's personality you could feel even when he was up sleeping on the kitchen cupboards. He owned our house, to us. We'll be missing him.